Stranded alone on a survival mission to Mars, an astronaut endures endless setbacks, dwindling supplies, and the daily humiliation of drinking recycled urine — until a long-awaited supply drop finally arrives… bringing not water, but something far stranger: a forgotten taste from Earth.
Think Really Big, Play to Win, Drive Durable Growth are Cisco's 'Guiding Principles' - New in 2025
Did I mention I need a new Job ? -
Growin' up MAGA
Growin’ Up MAGA is a satirical kids’ show that never happened — and yet somehow feels like it already has. Set in a dystopian, post-PBS puppetverse where public schools are gone, billionaires are heroes, and empathy is suspicious, this fake series pokes fun at what happens when kids grow up learning all the wrong lessons from all the wrong people. With segments like “Oscar’s Dumpster Life Hacks,” “The Count Counts Deregulations,” and musical numbers like “I’m a Deceiver,” the show highlights the absurdity of blind belief, weaponized patriotism, and the deep-fried gospel of late-stage capitalism. It’s educational TV for the end of public education.
Growin’ Up MAGA is a satirical kids’ show that never happened — and yet somehow feels like it already has. Set in a dystopian, post-PBS puppetverse where public schools are gone, billionaires are heroes, and empathy is suspicious, this fake series pokes fun at what happens when kids grow up learning all the wrong lessons from all the wrong people. With segments like “Oscar’s Dumpster Life Hacks,” “The Count Counts Deregulations,” and musical numbers like “I’m a Deceiver,” the show highlights the absurdity of blind belief, weaponized patriotism, and the deep-fried gospel of late-stage capitalism. It’s educational TV for the end of public education.
🗑️
“Oscar’s Dumpster Life Hacks”
Segment runtime: ~2.5 minutes
🎬 OPENING JINGLE (sung by trashcan kids)
🎵
“Who needs a roof? Who needs a bed?
You can live great with garbage instead!
It’s Oscar’s Life Haaaaaacks!”
(clank, bang, kazoo sound)
📺
Scene: Oscar pops out of his deluxe dumpster.
Oscar (cheerfully smug):
“Hey there, kids! Welcome back to ‘Oscar’s Dumpster Life Hacks!’
"Because why rely on the government when you’ve got a perfectly good mattress made of political mailers and cheese boxes?”
🧤
Life Hack #1: The Sock Tax Strategy
Oscar:
“Why pay for socks when you can just take other people’s lost ones at the laundromat? Mismatched? That’s character. I call it a footprint of freedom.”
(he pulls out two filthy socks with flags on them)
👶
Lil’ Liberty pops in
Lil’ Liberty (concerned):
“Oscar, aren’t there public services that could help you get what you need?”
Oscar (laughs hysterically):
“Public services? You mean Big Gub’mint Handouts? Pfft! Around here, we earn our dignity by sleeping under overpasses with pride.”
🍲
Life Hack #2: Soup Kitchen Swipe
Oscar:
“Hack two! Dumpster stew! You find three hot sauce packets, a rusty spoon, and a bean someone dropped?
Boom. That’s what I call a trickle-down dinner.”
(He slurps from a tin can labeled “Tax Cuts for Billionaires”)
📣
Offscreen Narrator (nervous):
“Uh… kids, remember that real help is out there if you—”
Oscar (interrupting):
“No it’s not! We defunded it, remember? Now you either hustle or you compost!”
🏛️
Lil’ Liberty (voice wavering):
“But what about sharing? Or caring? Or, like… democracy?”
Oscar:
“Aw, kid… those are luxury beliefs. Around here, we pledge allegiance to the grind, not the common good!”
🎵
CLOSING SONG (sung over banjo kazoo music):
🎤 “Don’t trust school! Don’t trust rules!
Get your vitamins from ashtrays and pools!
When life gives you lemons… trade them for fries!
That’s Oscar’s way — where dignity dies!”
🎬
Oscar Winks to Camera:
“Stay scrappy, kids. And remember:
If you’re not rich — at least be bitter.”
Trash can lid SLAMS shut. Cue canned applause and patriotic kazoo solo.